My thoughts and feelings ATM.

How have I been and why am I not blogging religiously as how it used to be?

If I am to honestly answer the question above, I think my head will crash from the overflowing thoughts in my head. So let me answer that in no particular order of things. I am typing as I type. I am thinking as I think. So the order of stories would be as baloney as those statements.

Work. Work has been great so far. When I started working in Shell on July 2013, it changed my life. I have been on night shift (9pm-6am shift) for the first 6 months and that was quite of a challenge. I wasn’t able to get enough sleep. My body clock failed to get its arse straight. But thankfully, I was moved to 4pm-1am shift and now I’m on 5pm to 2am shift so it’s a lot bearable. I have been getting enough sleep. And also, the best thing is that we have a company shuttle that drives us home. Yes, door-to-door. Hmmm. My relationship with Shell will turn two years on July 1st, and guess what? My promotion’s effectivity is on July 1st as well! From being a senior Tax Analyst, I will be promoted to Tax Specialist and I will be moving from US business to Europe&Asia businesses. I am excited to learn new processes and bond with a new team. But oh, I love my current team now and it has been nothing but joy with them since day one. Thank You.

Events. Well, I’m not referring to specific events in my life. I’m referring to my events planning passion. So I have mentioned that entering Shell changed my life, well, one great factor as well is that because I was able to join the People Pillar in my department that organises events for the whole Managed Indirect Tax (MIT) – department that I’m in. And because, I think, I did well in it, I was recommended to be part of the Employee Engagement Team of SBO (Shell Business Operations) and I’m now engaged with all the events happening in Shell. How great it is to achieve work-life balance at work alone? It is my passion after all. Thank You.

Friends. Like they always say with friendship, it’s like a moving train. Sometimes, some of them board the train to teach you something but at one point, they’d stop at their designated platform. They come and go. But only true friends stay with you till the end of the journey. And for this, I am very thankful for all those who decided to stay. And thankful to life for teaching me one great lesson: it’s really not about the numbers. I am grateful that I know right now, I have the truest ones. Thank You.

Family. The thing I’m most grateful of. Actually, there was a big challenge we had to go through during my birthday week last year. But I am thankful that we overcame it and now I think we’re stronger and more bonded. There are issues that come and go but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Life would just give you proof re the saying “blood is thicker than water” and it sure is. Our kids as well are our bundle of joy. And oh, we were able to travel for the past years that we’re complete! Thank You.

Love. Finally having someone who loves you the way you want to be loved. Having someone who hugs you from the back and whispers those words you have been wanting to hear. Having someone who will be with you no matter what and considers you his best friend. Having the person who stares at you and when you look back into his eyes, you see the world where there is only you and him. I am blessed to have him. Thank You.

But. But the “buts” in life is what makes me stare blank at my free time. What makes me stop in the middle of churning my thoughts and will end up blank again. And this is why I have been gone. Lost and not completely myself. I want to say I’m not okay but no one will understand, not even myself. I want to say I want some things back but then I am not even sure. I want to say I am happy but I don’t even know how to match it with genuineness. I want clarity to my feelings and my thoughts yet no one would ever will. Or maybe no one can. I want to end what I don’t know what. Yes, it’s just all confusion and bewilderment. I don’t know this kind of feeling exist. And there’s one thing I’m just holding on to… Time. I believe it heals everything. And I have faith that one day, when I wake up, it’s no longer there. I have faith in time and in Him. One day. This and everything, will be sheer memories without the “feels”. (:

So there. These are my thoughts at 0200 hours.

xoxo, G

My 24th birthday!

It has been over a month since my birthday but I guess it’s still not yet too late to share it. (: Oh my, one of my happiest birthday!

And since my work shift is from 4pm to 1am, I was pretty sure my day would start a bit early and I was not wrong. When I arrived to work the day before my birthday, I already got a cupcake surprise from Marj.

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Then just a few hours after that, my charming surprised me with the biggest bouquet I have ever received so far.

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As it is already a special day, my food binge buddies (that is my charming and Marj:) and I ate somewhere special. I love how the streets of Makati have hole in the wall kind of restaurants all over. We have yet to try the Your Local which is a stone’s throw away from the office and it was just the day we would.

Ambiance and food are just perfect! Can’t believe we’ve never been here before.

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And trying Your Local means trying Yardstick afterwards which is just right beside it and even has a passage way from the restaurant. From a dark room to a light ambiance! Just perfect! We are hooked with their Peanut butter and honey (PB&H) shake and we kept coming back since then!!

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The 12 midnight surprise from the team came! They gave me a cake and a huge greeting card with their sweet messages.. which made me cry a little. Of course, my charming gave me a separate cake. (:

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On the day of my birthday, it is a tradition in the family that we would have dinner. My charming has made a very sweet bday dinner plan but I had to cancel it as I would want to celebrate it too with my whole family. The Al Fresco side of Krazy Garlic in Greenbelt was a good choice! (: Our family has been eating in Krazy Garlic but I wonder why it was just today that we really appreciate and genuinely love their food and drinks. And yes, we keep coming back here too after this.

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On another note, my baby brother is growing up too fast!

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My birthday didn’t end just that. On the afternoon of the following day, a few of my super friends came over our house to greet me with cake and Amber’s spaghetti! I was still in my night dress then since I don’t usually shower on Saturdays-and-just-staying-home. Hahaha.

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So much love people have for me and I hope I could turn it back too!

Thanks everyone for making my day oh so special! And Thank You for all the great blessings in my 24 years!

xoxo,

G

What has been life like for me (in case someone ever wonders)

Well, a lot of changes have happened for me mostly on the second half of the year last year.

First was that I transferred work from a non-life insurance company to a petroleum company, from being a local tax analyst to US tax analyst, hence from a morning shift to a night shift. Night shift entails no Friday or weekender night out for me like what I usually have. I have given that up. Also night shift has required me to bring a car (big thanks to Pops) because there’s no easy and safe commute route from our house to Makati unless I’ll be taking a cab which is very costly. Fortunately, for employees for my job grade and up, we have the benefit of FREE parking in our building and that is great! For my work, I actually prefer the kind of analysis I do for our local taxation and since I do compliance with my previous work too (i.e. Filing of return) while for my current process now, I handle tax administration (front end analysis). It’s quite challenging because taxation is quite complex in the US unlike here that we don’t have much varying tax regulations. But the great thing is, I’m well compensated now with lesser working hours. Hooray! Plus I love the culture at my current workplace – employee centered. So yeah, I have been living an owl life for quite some time now.

Second is that I don’t frequent in PowerPlant mall anymore. Being said that, things had totally changed.

Third is that life has been making me ponder a lot. Up to now it’s still hard to grasp the complexity of things. Everyday I tell myself that this is how hard to be a grown up after sighing. Some days I know I am strong to face everything, but there are still days I feel vulnerable. I wish I could share everything into details. But I’m not really the person who overshares this kind of stuff.

But overall, happiness still envelopes my being. I think I am really a happy person. I can see even the smallest reason to be happy about life and that what’s matters most – our perspective to things and I hope it can be contagious.

So there, to sum it all up, I’m still a dramatic person though the changes in my life. Well, some things don’t change after all.

(:

 

xoxo,

G

 

Undiagnosed

20131006-123221.jpgI’m so sickly.

Hardest part of getting very sick is getting no findings. It caused me a week of horrible pain and missing work. Now I’m dependable on painkillers to save my life. Hope this is nothing bad though.

Health is wealth indeed. Gotta be healthy for all the people who loves me.

xx,
G

Ice cream melts.

Happiness. It’s from those simple remembering or short calls or messages. It’s from those simplest of things to the most grandeur. It’s from those time spent. It’s from those genuine smile that’s visible even in looking just straight to the eyes. It’s from those silly conversations, cranky jokes and even on arguments. It’s from the pancakes. It’s from the sweet thoughts. It’s from those who effortlessly make you feel it.

Sadness. It’s from the time gone. It’s from accepting how things have changed and knowing it’s for the better but still missing it. It’s from not knowing what I want. It’s always choosing complicated situation and could not settle the readily society-accepted things laid in front. It’s from the chains and shackles tied. It’s from being so ready to take risk but it’s always one sided. It’s from the adventures missed and will be missing. It’s from all those uncertainties.

Life. What goes around comes around.

xx,
G

Movie nights and pancakes

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Movie nights is one of my favorite for unwinding after a long day/week at work. And of course, I deserve a treat of my comfort food – pancakes. Regal Red Velvet and Banana pancakes are on my top list at Pancake House.

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Random nights

xoxo,
G

Everyday

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I go to work everyday.

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Work my ass off and get experimental with my hair.

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And I try to be happy. Always. Everyday.

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I treat myself with my everyday dose of coconut juice or BIG CHILL’s fresh fruit shake. When it comes to fresh fruit shake, it’s BIG CHILL- generous amount of fruits and veggies (carrots for me).

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I get quick lunch or dinner out (mostly in Starbucks and mostly with Jew) for a well deserved and needed break.

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I get reminded by My smiley stress ball to smile and carry on.

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I still do get a regular supply of toilet tissues and now it has gone floral.

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I always munch to keep me awake (besides my music on). I love nuts.

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I get reminded by my tax calendar of my deadlines and do get inspired on the domestic places I want to go to. Right now I’m dying to hit the beach.

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And everyday I do have to be serious.. and strong.

xoxo,
G