It’s exactly 02:30 am, February 19, 2012, Sunday. And I’m still here at the workplace since yesterday afternoon… working. I don’t work much on weekends anymore since 2012 has started but I was asked to do so on Friday to work on weekends since we’re meeting a deadline. I’ve been going home on the wee hours of the morning and I go back to work before 8 in the morning on weekdays. This is how my working life is. My family is very much surprised… Well, me too.
I was so decided to quit after a month since I’ve started. But it all subsided eventually. I hate the idea of quitting. I learned to appreciate the little things in life and I’ve learned not to complain to much. I have also taught my body not to ask for too much sleep. 3 hours will be enough, 6 hours is such a blessing. I’ve learned to be happy even in simple things. I’ve learned to smile even with all the pressures.
There are days I feel like they shouldn’t have hired a fresh graduate like me. Their expectation are too much… way beyond of what I’m capable/knowledgeable of. But I have believed He placed me here for a reason. I just have to believe in myself to. And sometimes I just have to pretend that I know it or I am capable of doing it. Then there are time that I surprise myself that I’m not pretending anymore, that I can actually do it.
Patience. I have never thought I am this patient especially in dealing with other people. This is another surprising thing. This workplace set-up is very different. The people are very different. I just used to compete with myself, but suddenly why do I get the feeling that it’s with other people now? I don’t want it to be. But life… It’s survival of the fittest. You always have to prove that you’re better. Not just with what you’re capable of doing. It’s now that you’re better than the other. I hate it. Big time.
I am so backlogged. There are so many things I want to blog about, so many books I want to read, so many people I want to hangout with, so many places I want to go to… I just always wonder when…
The working arena. It is now my life.
But it won’t be for long. I will remove the “ee” and replace it with “or” in the future. It will happen. And my time won’t be controlled by others anymore.