It used to be so special. Third year and we didn’t make it.
I woke up very early today. The rains are so intense. I was quite sure that classes would be suspended. I turned on my laptop, logged in to twitter and then the expected news was there all over. It saddens me that I won’t be able to see him today. Even just to see him. Funny. I’m the one who brought us to this situation. I know I couldn’t bring back what we had. I just couldn’t give-up our friendship. Despite everything, whenever I have problems especially about my family he’s still the one I want to talk to. He’s the only one. But if this continues, I have to give up on that as well.
Have you ever watched the movie Hall Pass? The same thing happened to me like with Maggie. I thought the time-off was for him. For him to realize my worth and learn to appreciate me more. For him to be back to the person I have known before. But now I realized the time-off wasn’t really for him, it was for me. All these times… it was for me.
My feelings for him haven’t changed. I still love him with every ounce of my heart. But the question is: Do I want him back? The answer is… NO. I love him that much that I don’t want him to be with me anymore. He deserves someone better. He deserves to be happy with someone who wouldn’t do the same as what I did.
Complicated. I made it to be. I was never contented. I was always asking for more.
A, life is too short to be with someone who isn’t quite right.