Night at the hospital.

Finally I have a free time. I’ve been so madly busy since school started for my second term. And honestly, I just couldn’t go online because my heart aches. And no, not because of him. It’s because I wouldn’t be able to graduate on time. It means no PICC graduation march for me. I’ll be another semester delayed and it just crashed me.

If only… If only I was fully aware of my subject loads. If only I’m fully aware that my subjects are being delayed by whoever-was-assigned-to assigning-subjects-to-students. I would have graduated on time. I would have had the chance.

Is it just bound to happen?

Should I feel better because I’m not the only one who’s experiencing this? That there are eighty more students that are feeling the same pain. We fought till the end. Everyday we feel that yes, there’s a chance. Until we couldn’t hold our hopes up anymore.

The highest official in our college doesn’t have a heart for students. She doesn’t have a mother’s heart. Why is she in that position anyway? I couldn’t even think of words to describe her. And I’ll keep my mouth shut about her evilness.

Bakit kasi siya pa? Bakit kasi may ganito pa? Sana wala nalang…

I need to have the courage to tell my parents. They’ve been talking a lot to their peers that they’ll have another college graduate and that they’re already free from paying tuition fees finally. But it’s not like I’m delayed for so long right?

Haayy… Please help me feel better.

And being delayed is not the only issue. Being forced to shift from BSA to BSMA was the thing that hurts the most. Are all CPAs didn’t flunk during their college years? Isn’t it through failing where you learned what you did wrong? I flunk once and only once. And it was on my second year.

Now, we (my co-MA students)feel like the second class in the college. All BSA students get the first class treatments. They get the best class schedule, they get the best professors. While our schedule sucks. Late afternoon schedules like from 5pm to 8pm. The new professors who doesn’t seem like they know what they’re doing. Or professors who can’t accept that they don’t have the gift of teaching, that we don’t really learn anything from them. Two sections even had to merge to one class, now having 100+ students for a major 6 units subject. WTH?

Why does it have to be us? Why does this experiment has to start from us? They should have implemented it to freshmen only. And when they are fully ready to implement it. We didn’t sign up for this.

I give you my word. When I have the power, I’ll sue everyone who are under this unprepared implementation. They made us feel like experiments.

And to that devil-wears-saya. I’ll make you regret for saying mean words to us, students and to our org.

I’ve too many sentiments. And every time I’ve think about it I’m pushing the blade deeper. But now I guess it’s time to let it go. And it might ot be fully… but will do it little by little.

I’m now here at the hospital watching over my sister who got confined last night because of asthma. It wouldn’t have been that harmful to her health except that because she’s pregnant. Good thing she’s a little better now. And it’s a holiday tomorrow so I could be her watcher till tomorrow.




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