from Kalokohan.com

Kalokohan Answering Machine Messages

And here’s our Top 10 Messages

1. Hi, you have reached Jerry McGuire. Show me the message! Show me the message!

2.Concatenation of events preclude our coming to the phone. Please speak freely, with magniloquence upon occasion of the tone.

3.Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.

4.You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is “The Twilight Phone”

5.Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

6.My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I’ll get back to you pending credit approval.

7.This is you-know-who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

8.I’m home right now, I’m just screening my calls. So start talking and if you’re someone I want to speak with I’ll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

9.Hello. I’m not at home right now because I’m out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don’t call you back, you’re probably one of those changes.

10.BEEP Hello, this is Magic 89.9, you’re on the air.

And here are some others:

These words are lovely dark and deepBut I’ve got promises to keepand miles to go before I sleepSo leave a message at the beep.

Hi, you know the drill.

Hello, you have reached the Adam’s family and we can not come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, phone number, short message, social security number, and credit card number and we will call you when we’re done shopping.

Just found this so funny! I’m planning to use number seven. :) Sorry for i’ve been on MIA . Yes! my third year is finally over! Had my first over night party with friends after (as in first!in my whole life). I’ll get back on you soon. My laptop is now on MIA too. sad.

Off to Moriones festival and a side beach trip! I’m quite ecstatic :)

Have fun this holy week! Don’t forget to alot some time to pray.

And to still keep it holy.

I’ll be on a hiatus for a while again. Don’t miss me bear :))


xoxo, G
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